Next Level Grilled Cheese II: The Mystery Recipe

 -Jesse Sutton

Hi everyone!  So remember the Frico Grilled Cheese?  That article was entitled 'Next Level Grilled Cheese,' and I've decided to make it a series.  In this series, I will explore hints, tips, and tricks for grilled cheese, but more than that, I will be exploring ideas in how to make over-the-top grilled cheeses.  Read 'till the end for some Grilled Cheese Fun Facts from [Dirty] Uncle Jesse!

For This Installment:

I actually have no idea where I got this recipe.  Here's an important fact about me.  Well, two facts.  One, I am a terrible housekeeper, both in my actual house and on my computer.  My desktop, after maybe 3 months of owning a laptop, is a quagmire of images, podcast files, folders with names that made sense at the time, and abandoned .doc files filled with half-written projects of every type.  My notepad app usually has about 500 items on it, despite the fact that people are pretty clear that you shouldn't use it like that.  Also, I have a tendency to destroy laptops.  I'm typing this right now on one I got last Tuesday, because I innovated a new and interesting way to crack the screen on a Macbook last weekend.  So anyway, I routinely go through and copy-paste anything I don't want to lose into emails to myself, because I'm too lazy to properly organize a back-up system.  

So that's how I came to be going through my old emails looking for something, some fragment of a poem, or graphic novel idea, or who knows what, and happened across an email from myself labeled 'Lotsa Junq,' and opened it.  Inside, among a lot of other 'junq' was this recipe, with no context, source, or other information.  All I have to go on is that the email was dated April 2020, so I know it's at least that old, but probably much older.  It's later than early 2018, because that's when I last replaced my Macbook, because I had pioneered a new and interesting way to blow out the hinge.  

So that's it.  A mystery recipe for grilled cheese.  And it looked pretty good.  Here it is, word-for-word:

Sourdough 1 cm thick
Brie 1 cm thick
1/2 C grated cheddar
1/2 C grated havarti
1/2 t shallot
1/2 t garlic
1/2 each green onion
Mayo

I have no idea where I heard it.  It's not one of Nate's, because it wasn't in metric.  It's not one of Tarver's, because it only calls for cheese available at the regular grocery store.  I called Jordan Moore, a chef friend of mine who is especially gifted at over-the-top bar food, and he disavowed any knowledge of it.  Finally, I got to thinking that maybe I had heard it on Milk Street Radio, or the Splendid Table, two NPR cooking shows that are having an informal contest to have the worst show name in radio, and are both winning.  So I was pretty sure I got it off that, until I sat down to write this article, and discovered that that's actually where I got the frico grilled cheese from before.  Did I get two grilled cheese recipes from one radio show?  Or am I misremembering?  If anyone reads this (doubtful) and recognizes the recipe (damn-sure not-gonna-happen), reach out, so I can credit the author/cook properly.

Anyway, despite not remembering where I heard it, I vaguely remember the method.  The aromatics and grated cheese were blended into a filling, which was then spread over bread lined with brie.  Mayo was applied to each exterior surface, and the sandwich was to be grilled as normal.

So at any rate, I gave it a go.  I used La Brea Bakery sourdough, Kraft cheddar, Boar's Head havarti, and Harris Teeter deli-branded generic brie.  Oh, and Duke's mayonnaise, because I am a civilized southerner, who will not knuckle under to the Northern aggression that is Hellman's.

One Variable I Couldn't Remember

The recipe for filling yielded just over a cup.  Was this for a single sandwich?  Two?  Four?  Hard to say.  My guess is four.  Two would have been a grotesquely overfull sandwich, especially when one considers that 1cm of brie is already enough cheese for a sandwich.  In the end, I just eyeballed it, and used about a third of a cup.  (Splitting the difference seemed reasonable.)

How did it come out?

Absolutely fantastic, if a little over-the-top.  However, grilled cheese is like nachos, or pizza.  Sometimes, a little over-the-top is what you want.  Too much, to paraphrase Mark Twain, is just enough.

If I were to want to change one thing, I would make the slices of brie a little thinner.  The idea of shredding the cheese, and mixing in some aromatics, was really successful.  I suppose that shouldn't have been a surprise, I've had some decent grilled cheeses made with pimiento cheese.  The mayo makes the bread grill up a little darker than butter, so you have to keep a closer eye on the heat.  The flavor isn't better, just different.  I doubt mayo will replace butter for me, going forward, but this recipe yielded good results.

Like Mae West said, too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

And Now, Grilled Cheese Fun Facts, with Dirty Uncle Jesse

* In the UK, a grilled cheese is called a cheese toastie.

* The combination of grilled cheese and tomato soup is an invention of American public school cafeterias.  Toasted cheese sandwiches were pretty standard fare, but as more became known about nutrition, cafeterias wanted to make sure they were supplying enough vitamin C, and canned tomato soup was a cheap, easy way to accomplish that.

* And lastly, did you know 'grilled cheese' is also a lesbian slang term?  Look it up!  I learned about this one day when I'd made a gigantic (26" X 18") Uncle Buck-esque grilled cheese for staff meal at Tristan.   There was a lesbian couple that worked there, and I asked one of them if she'd had a grilled cheese yet, and she blushed beet-red and said "Why, what have you heard?"  The more you know...